Three Times Three
by Knight-Dawn
Summary: Nothing hurts more than the sight of someone's back, turned to leave. Especially when you don't think they're coming back - but more so when you love them. Xion watched Riku's back three times - each time hurting worse than the last. Can he let her go a third time? One-Shot . RikuXi. A story told in partings.


**Three Times Three**

* * *

The first time Xion watched him walk away, she was screaming in pain; frustrated, annoyed, _angry_. So very angry. At him, and at herself. He'd called her Keyblade a sham, told her it – _she _was worthless.

And she couldn't even figure out how to prove him wrong.

She'd lost, after all. He'd won. And then he'd walked away without so much as a glance back.

And it hurt.

_Hurt_.

.

The second time, was almost an accident. He'd found her, _saved _her, and she didn't know why. Why hadn't he just left her to the incoming tide? Why had he taken her up near the paopu tree – why had he held her so _gently_, like he was afraid she would break?

He seemed so much nicer this time. But _why_? Was it because she reminded him of Kairi? She heard the way he said her name. _Kairi_. Hesitantly. Like he was afraid just saying her name would break something, too.

Was Xion _jealous_ of Kairi? Of Kairi and Sora and everything they had that would never be hers? Before that thought finished, she was calling Riku out –

"Do you hate me, for taking your friend away from you?" Bitter.

"...Nah. I guess... I'm just sad." He was hesitant again.

"..._Oh_." Sorry, now. For being angry with him. He just wanted his friends back, and... she was just getting in the way.

But then his hand was on her shoulder and he was reassuring her in the only way he could – and before that really had time to register, he was walking away again, and she let him go.

"Thank you, Riku."

This time, the hurt was different.

.

And then, it was Riku's turn to watch her walk away for the first time. He'd known it would happen from the moment she'd sought him out for answers. She'd spent fourty-three days with him, on the run. He knew their time would run out eventually.

"Do you want to go back?"

She hadn't answered right away, but he knew she did. Because Roxas and Axel were her _friends_ and they needed her. And she needed them, too.

So when she'd woken him up in the middle of the night (or, rather, pulled him away from the thoughts that had been running through his head while he tried to sleep) he'd promised to buy her a little more time.

It was all he could do.

But still, the next dawn, when she pulled her hood up and walked out, it hurt more than it should have.

He was starting to need her, too.

.

The second time was far worse. He'd gone back to where they'd met, the drawbridge outside Beast's Castle, knowing her time had come – and wanting to go back and remember her while he still could.

She must've known he'd be there, somehow.

"Riku!"

Or, maybe she was surprised after all.

"...Did you find your answer?"

Yes, she had. And she was asking him what to do now. He hesitated again – before telling her to find Namine.

"Alright. Thanks, Riku. Goodbye..." Her voice was quiet. He couldn't bring himself to say anything to her as she turned around and walked away, disappearing into a Dark Corridor.

It hurt too much.

He told himself it was because he knew she was walking toward her own demise, and_ thanking _him for helping her when all he'd really done was help set it up. Nevermind that he'd tried to make it as painless as possible for her.

It still _hurt_.

And he knew _exactly_ why, even if he didn't want to admit it.

.

Despite everything, they did meet again.

She was sitting on the paopu tree, in Sora's usual spot, no less, and watching the sun rise, when he came. He ran up to the paopu tree in the dream of Sora's heart, thinking it was his best friend sitting at his usual place – she didn't have to look at him to know the look of surprise that crossed his face. She could hear it in his voice.

"Who... who _are_ you?"

She knew an answer was pointless, so instead, she did as she was supposed to. A question for his test.

"Riku... what do you wish?"

"More questions..." He could've been annoyed, but there was a smile in his voice for some reason. And Xion didn't want to think about that. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him move closer and lean up against the tree – his own eyes closed, maybe even for the same reason she refused to look at him.

Because he'd forgotten, and that _hurt._

"I wish to recover something important that I've lost."

Even his answer hurt, as she watched him fade out of the dream. Because what he wanted to recover was _Sora_, not her. And yet, something in her heart pleaded for him to want to find her, too.

Watching him leave her for the third time was the hardest yet. Because she knew it would be the last time.

And he didn't even _know_ her.

Her heart ached, and this time she could admit to herself _why._

It was because she loved him, and loving him hurt.

.

"Why are you leaving?"

It was nearly a year later, and Sora had brought Xion back. She'd reunited with Riku, and despite all the tension and hurt between them, things had worked out. They'd been seeing each other for months now – still in secret, hushed whispers and cautious kisses when no one was looking.

They had too many mutual enemies to reveal the depth of their relationship yet.

"I have to," she sighed, her back facing him. "Please understand. Some things... have to be done alone."

"But we're stronger together—"

"No. Riku – _please_. I have to do this. Don't follow me." She'd started to walk away, and he'd moved forward to clasp her hand in his own only to have her try to shrug him off. He held her firmly.

"Xion, you're the one who doesn't understand..."

"Oh? What is it I don't understand, then?" There was anger in her voice, in the way she cut each word sharply.

"...Last time I watched you walk away, you didn't plan to come back."

His hold tightened on her hand, but she was silent for a long while.  
"I know," she breathed. "And I can't promise I will this time, either. But you still have to let me go, Riku."

"I can't... not a third time!" His voice nearly broke, and his shout echoed back at him from the walls of Yen Sid's tower. He went deathly quiet then, sorry that he'd raised his voice. Her hand slipped from his, and she pulled away.

"Then consider us even. I watched you go three times – and the third time_ killed _me. Because I knew _you _weren't coming back."

"But I _did_—"

"And maybe I will, too. You'll just have to wait and see."

And this time, when she walked away, he let her – no matter how much it hurt him to stand there. The door shut behind her with a click. Only then did he go sit on the closest bench and rest his face in his hands.

When Sora and Kairi approached him later, asking him _why _he'd let her just leave, he just looked into Sora's eyes and told him the truth.

Because he loved her, and sometimes loving someone was about knowing when to let them go, and trusting they would come back.

No matter much letting go_ hurt._

* * *

**Author: **Had this idea for a while now - knowing a plot point that happens in my still-outlined story set after DDD, I was thinking about what Riku would say to her when she tried to go. At first, I was going to have him stop her, and have her fight him to leave - the argument they have is a small part of what was going to happen.

But when I realized Xion canonically watched Riku turn his back on her and walk away three times, and Riku let her leave him twice...

Well, the final scene you see in this finally came to me. Because he'd have to let her go again. He loves her enough to trust that she will come back again, even though he doesn't want to let her go. Funny how they always seem to parallel one another...

Hope you like it! It's always nice to get a review to let me know how I'm doing, but I'm just happy to know people read my stories.


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